1. I'm going to create a diabetes diet and call it livabetes.
2. I'm going to patent a knockoff of Tylenol that is slightly less effective and call it Tylesome.
3. I'm going to create a veterinary clinic and call it the Farmacy.
4. They should put mint coatings on pills so they don't leave shit aftertaste in your mouth.
5. I'm pretty sure that breathing deeply for a couple minutes has a 100% success rate of getting rid of hiccups. <---- TESTED. IT DOES. <--- Tested again. Only works when not drunk.
6. Instead of ice cubes, restaurants should freeze cubes of the same liquid that's going in the drink so that it never gets watered down. Or you could put, say, lemonade cubes in a glass of tea, and create an Arnold Palmer. mmm
7. I think you can see who's viewing your Facebook profile by doing this...
Total your number of friends.
Divide it by 12.
Take
Tally who show's up on your profile. It's supposed to be random but the same fucking people are always popping up. I think
2. I'm going to patent a knockoff of Tylenol that is slightly less effective and call it Tylesome.
3. I'm going to create a veterinary clinic and call it the Farmacy.
4. They should put mint coatings on pills so they don't leave shit aftertaste in your mouth.
5. I'm pretty sure that breathing deeply for a couple minutes has a 100% success rate of getting rid of hiccups. <---- TESTED. IT DOES. <--- Tested again. Only works when not drunk.
6. Instead of ice cubes, restaurants should freeze cubes of the same liquid that's going in the drink so that it never gets watered down. Or you could put, say, lemonade cubes in a glass of tea, and create an Arnold Palmer. mmm
7. I think you can see who's viewing your Facebook profile by doing this...
Total your number of friends.
Divide it by 12.
Take
Tally who show's up on your profile. It's supposed to be random but the same fucking people are always popping up. I think
fuck , I will finish this later.
8. Joints should be rolled in thin hemp paper.
9. Is a frozen river a temporary lake?
10. There are two main ways to handshake someone.
You either do the normal one or you fistbump them.
Fistbump looks like a rock, normal handshakes look like paper.
When you see people about to fistbump you, say "paper covers rock"
and then say you're just kidding and go in for another handshake, but when they put their hand out say "scissors beats paper", and you just forced someone to lose two rock paper scissors games, and then you tell them to do the same thing to everyone they handshake. And eventually everyone in the world will only be able to greet each other through rock paper scissors battles. <--- Apparently some comedian already thought of all of this.
8. Joints should be rolled in thin hemp paper.
9. Is a frozen river a temporary lake?
10. There are two main ways to handshake someone.
You either do the normal one or you fistbump them.
Fistbump looks like a rock, normal handshakes look like paper.
When you see people about to fistbump you, say "paper covers rock"
and then say you're just kidding and go in for another handshake, but when they put their hand out say "scissors beats paper", and you just forced someone to lose two rock paper scissors games, and then you tell them to do the same thing to everyone they handshake. And eventually everyone in the world will only be able to greet each other through rock paper scissors battles. <--- Apparently some comedian already thought of all of this.
